Day 30: Keeping My Power

Faith

Today's lesson:
I'm grateful I've come to learn that I get to observe and keep my power. I get to be protected and not put my energy into another person anymore. So here's what I wrote yesterday. I shall now pose these questions for me and answer them for me to myself. ie change the her/buddy to me/I.

BTW, if anyone is interested in knowing how I got the answers to the questions, I wrote them down with my left hand. It's said that we get spiritual guidance/subconscious answers from ourselves and the Lord through writing with our non-dominant hand.

I have me, who no longer considers me one of my buddies. I ask, what do I do? Be my friend, duh!

What can I do to heal this relationship? Well that's a lovely question to ask me, and I say. To heal my relationship with me I get tot trust in God, invest my energy into him, Christ and the Angels. Read scriptures, inspiring books, pray often. Play with my kids even more, they are my angels, my blessings of love & light. Laugh when I want to cry. Forgive me for any/all my faults/mistakes. Love me for the Honest, Inspiring, Innocent, Nurturing woman that I am.

What happens when I continue to tell me I die, that I don't trust me, and continue with the red card?
Well what happens is, I stay miserable, lonely, victimized and depressed.

What happens when I know I'm drowning in my own misery and hell? Well this ones easy too, what happens is, I'm drowning and everyone around me is.

Do I trust that this isn't just another part of the game? I trust Am I really lost? I guess it doesn't matter, I get to be in my own business and my business is to be me. Also, I do know I've perceived myself as lost and that I'm being used as a part of someones agenda/game.

Honestly, I've been praying hard. It scares me to have this much compassion and love for me b/c I wonder, would I reciprocate the same compassion and love for me? I then ask, if I know I wouldn't, do I still choose to have that for me?
My honest answer is YES! I will continue to offer the black, offer love/support, offer compassion. My heart aches for my' perception, my loss, my pain.

I wish I could tell me: I am loved and worthy of being loved. To accept the love that is surrounding me. That I am safe and everything will be ok.

I guess the other question is, what happens when I throw a life vest out to me and I refuse to accept it? I continue to live in my own misery and drown in it.
Where is the life vest that I will accept, so I can throw it out to me?
The life vest I will accept is right here in my heart. Look, ask, and all shall be known unto me.

Final question, What way do we go with this?
Answer:
Trust in the Lord. He has it handled and I can only be the true woman that I am.
Honest, inspiring, innocent, nurturing woman.

I've been off the grid for the past couple of days. I'm so excited I got granted my hearing, finally!!! Yes everyone, the judge is giving me a chance to argue the merit. I'm sooooo excited, of course there are twinges of fear and nerves but the lasting feeling is excitement and freedom.
I'll be honest, I don't know what I'm going to do if I lose. So I asked, Will the inj. be dismissed on the 30th of Sept 2011?
The inj. will be dismissed on the 30th. The Judge has already been made aware of my truth and wants answers from Ashley. She will try to get out of it, but her fate is/has been sealed by her own lies and choices. Enjoy your (my) freedom and that these are the days  for Justice, Christ and Gods presence protecting you (me), Kylie, and your (my) children. Embrace the peace that comes from knowing it'll be dismissed and you're at the end. In a few more months, you'll (I'll) have Kylie in your (my) home and a part of your (my)family.
Wow that's a relief and I love this tool. Thank you~

The true character of me can be measured in many ways, but how I react to a situation truly shows my true colors.

Pray me well. Pray I can have light shed upon my truth, that this will be what dismisses the case and true meaning of unconditional love and compassion shall be known. I pray my heart and all my buddies involved in this situation may have Angels with us, always. I pray I feel the presence of Christ and the Lord. To know I'm never alone. Remember when I feel he's left me, that it's actually because he's carrying me. I call upon you Lord to send legions of Angels to support me at this time. I pray I'm given the understanding that the injustice must stop and that I am still safe and that everything happens for a reason. I thank you Lord for taking care of me and our family. Thank you Heavenly Father for guiding those that need to hear this truth, by shedding your light upon it. Thank you for holding me up when I felt I was falling. Lastly, thank you Lord for my sweet Amelia, my blessing throughout all of this, she still came to me. Thank you for entrusting me with the gift of tending your children.
I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ~Amen.