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| Kevins Gift |
The following is the dialogue we had throughout the movie:
him: "would you like to buy my drawing?" from his speech I could sense he was mentally handicapped.
Me: "well let me see it" He showed me this beautiful drawing of 2 trees in a field with hearts and birds throughout. I complimented the drawing and said I'm sure he could sell it. Another 10mins went by and he tapped me again,
him: "how much would you buy it for?"
me: "what do you think it's worth?"
he replied in a matter of fact tone
him: $6, do you think so?
Me: It could.
As I contemplated the dialogue that had happened in a matter of 5 minutes, I felt inspired by him. How lovely it was for me that he had the courage to ask this, to know so clearly what his drawing was worth and how refreshing it was for someone to not have a filter. I appreciated his freedom to just ask, with the innocence of a child. I remember those days so well. And it makes me think, when do we get programmed and trained to fear? To be afraid to reach out or afraid to trust that we are safe in our community with our fellow sisters and brothers.
I then was inspired to give him the $6 for his drawing. I asked him to sign it, he did. I was so grateful for this art. About 10mins into the movie, he taps me again, and says,
him: are you going to frame it?
me: I might.
His eyes lit up, he smiled from ear to ear and I could feel his heart being so proud of himself. I was too. Truth is, I am indeed framing his work, it will remind every time that I see it of this lovely innocent man. I remember having the thought, I feel safe with him.
So as the movie got closer to ending, he tapped me again. I'm sure many people would get easily frustrated but I chose to just enjoy this mans energy. It was truely lovely. Anyways, he asked:
him: Do you live in Layton?
me: no, I live in Kaysville.
him: do you think you could give me a ride home?
me: I'm uh.....I....do you want some candy?
him: huh? what? oh, ok sure.
I literally sat there thinking of what my answer would be. Do I really feel safe doing this? Having my entire family be in a car alone with him? Were we all really safe? I mean what if?? And then I realized how annoying those thoughts were and they stressed me out. So I decided to pawn the answer off to Dustin. I told him and he too didn't respond right away.
The movie came to an end and I'd still not given an answer but I sure as hell was thinking about it. As I awkwardly exited the theater, just passing him without an answer or even any eye contact, not even a word, thinking to myself, " well if we don't, then who will? how will he get home? will he be ok? Why am I even considering not?"
Dustin then turned to me, as we exited through the theater door and said, "well, what are you thinking? Do you want to?" I found he was thinking the same as I. So, as I looked back in, he was still sitting there, I'm assuming he was wondering how he was going to get home now. Not sure what he thought. But I know it felt more comforting to offer this courageous, innocent man, who had no filter, no fears, a ride home. I realized I had experienced so many gifts from him and offered him a ride home without even knowing his name, so I asked and his name is Kevin.
I'm grateful to have been open to receiving his gift, his art, and his lessons. Thank you Kevin.
So the question I ask you is,
How often do you find yourself wanting to do something and a thought stops you? A belief says, no way. What have you missed out on because of your fear? and what are you really afraid of? Rejection, not being good enough, worthy, safety?
I know my answers, do you?
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